Having said about all I can about the wonderful trip that Harry and Robert and I took to the UK, it is time to get back down to business and the reason for creating this blog in the first place. It is time to get back to my Retirement Project.
It has been 2 months since my last day at East Middle School, where I worked for the past 12 years. The moment of final departure was surreal--like a cast member walking off the set of a television show, closing down after a long run. I'd gotten everything in order and said all of my goodbyes over the summer, but at 5:00 o'clock on July 29, I picked up my purse, turned out the lights, closed the door to my office, headed to the parking lot, got in my car, and drove off like I had done 2,880 times before. The only difference was that I knew I would never be going back--at least in the same capacity.
The feeling was, and continues to be one of both liberation and loss. Freed from the mooring of a 5 day, 40-plus hour work week, I have set myself adrift in a vast sea of possibility and am bobbing about in search of another port in which to dock. Along with the exhilaration of realizing that I have absolute choice over how I fill my days, there is also a sense of disorientation and loss of direction.
It's not that I don't have plenty to keep me busy in the immediate present. I have a back log of projects and to-do lists here at home that have been stacking up for years. I'm sticking to a regular schedule on weekdays. I'm up at 6:30, to exercise and see Bill off to work by 7:00. I read the paper and do a bit of writing and blogging, before tidying up the house and myself, and getting busy on the project du jour, which is currently cleaning, organizing, and refurbishing our bedroom, as well as renovating the master bathroom. In the late afternoon, I get dinner started, run errands or go out for a swim, and do some reading before Bill comes home. It's really fun to be able to devote extended hours getting caught up on the various projects I've been planning but not having the time or energy to complete for so long now. And if I get interrupted by a call from one of the children to help with a sick grandchild or Robert drops in to read me a draft of a paper or sermon he's working on, oh, well, I can just walk away and leave things until later.
Still, I can't deny that my new and liberated lifestyle brings moments of loneliness and isolation.
I miss the daily contacts and familiar faces of staff and students in the world of public school education--that world that took me outside of myself and consumed the bulk of my time and physical and creative energy for 30 years. I don't want to go back to it, but I haven't yet found that which will replace it. In the interim, I am taking time, as Robert Raines suggests in his book A Time to Live,
"to explore our work, which not only takes most of our waking hours and energy, but also is a major vehicle for our creativity and a container of our identity" and to "re-imagine our work life as we make our way through the passage of the elder season."
Despite the occasional loneliness and disconnectedness, I enjoy the solace afforded by those uncommitted hours. It is time that is conducive to reading, writing, thinking, and journeying inward to places inside my head and heart that I could not or did not visit in the years when the noise and distraction and demands of the work world crowded out any space in my life for contemplation and reflection. My life was clearly out of balance and I am now realizing how much I missed by failing to carve out more time to nurture my inner life of introspection and personal growth. Right now, I'm making up for lost opportunities in that area, along with cleaning and organizing and checking off items on my to-do list.
I am aware that this hiatus could become a self-serving and selfish endeavor if the journey inward does not propel me toward the outward journey of seeking deeper relationships through service to others and through embracing causes and issues related to making the world a better place. I will have to be careful not to stay in this place exclusively for too long. But for now, it is a good place to be and I intend to make the best of it.
In my first blog on July 16, I stated that my goal for the Retirement Project is to find meaning and happiness in what Robert Raines refers to as "The Elder Season." As I write, I recognize that this Retirement Project is not simply about cleaning out and organizing the drawers and closets of my physical space. It is as well about getting to work on the dust and cobwebs that have formed through years of neglect of my spiritual abode.
My Retirement Project is ultimately about clearing away the clutter and debris in all aspects of my life. It is about getting down to my core values and beliefs and possessions, and about deciding what is really important to take with me through this elder passage, and what is extraneous or simply extra baggage that needs to be abandoned or given away.
Both literally and metaphorically speaking, I have a mountain of stuff to sort through before getting my house in order. It is hard and lonely work to do at times, but I am convinced, that in the end, this Retirement Project will be well worth the effort in launching me toward a full and meaningful life in the elder season.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Green Car's Big Adventure
Hi, my name is Green Car and I want to tell you about my big adventure in London and how it all came to be.
I belong to a boy named Henry Stillerman. Henry lives with his mother and daddy and sister Charlotte in a house on Alexander Street, in Statesville, NC.
Henry likes cars. He likes to play with them. He likes to read about them. He likes to collect them.
Henry's parents and grandparents and sister and uncles and aunts and cousins and friends all know how much Henry likes cars. They give him cars for his birthday and at Christmas and sometimes just to surprise him.
Henry has many cars! I am one of Henry's cars. Henry's favorite color is green. I am green and I am a car. I guess that's why Henry likes me so much. I guess that's why he let me go on the big adventure with his daddy.
Henry's daddy was taking a trip to London. He was going with Grandmommie to visit Uncle Bobby and to see all of the wonderful sights there.
Henry's daddy was all packed and ready to go. Before he left, he hugged and kissed Henry's mother and sister Charlotte, and Henry, and told them all that he would miss them so much and wished they could go along! And then, he asked Henry:
"Can I take this little green car with me to remind me of you and keep me company? I'll keep Green Car in my pocket, and everywhere we go, I'll take pictures with Green Car in them."
"Okay, Daddy," Henry said. "And you can take some more cars with you, too."
Henry ran off to his room and got two more cars for his daddy. Henry's daddy hugged Henry again and put all three of us cars in his pocket. That's how the other green car and the white car got in the pictures that I will show you.
Off I went on my big adventure, riding in Henry's daddy's pocket along with the other two cars, some change, and a set of keys.
Let me tell you, it was a long trip. It was pretty crowded in that pocket and it was dark too. But when we finally got to London, Henry's daddy pulled me out and you would not believe the sights I saw!
During the day, I would ride in his pocket from place to place where we would see all of the sights and take pictures of them. At night, I got to sit on top of the dresser beside the other two cars and a watch and a gold wedding ring. Every night, I would fall asleep to the sound of the cars and trucks and buses whizzing by outside, and the sound of Uncle Bobby and Henry's daddy snoring away in their beds.
Here are some of the pictures from my big adventure.
This is the church where Uncle Bobby worked all summer.
This is the fountain around the statue. Many people like to come here to walk around and see the sights. Can you see the big lion in the background? He is one of 4 lions that guard the statue of Admiral Nelson. He is so big that kids like to climb and play on him.
We saw this restaurant called Henry's at Covent Square and just had to stop and get a picture.
And another picture of Henry's Restaurant
Here I am on a bridge over the large river called the Thames. Henry's daddy is holding me down so I won't blow away.
And here we are on the Embankment of the river watching all of the boats go by.
Here we are at the Tower of London. It is down by the river. The Tower of London is a very old building and has been used for many things: A home for the queen, a place where the Queen's jewels are kept, and long ago it was a prison where people who did not agree with the king or queen were kept.
A picture of my buddy, the other green car, with the Tower of London in the background
This is Buckingham Palace. It is where the queen lives. It is surrounded by beautiful gates and protected at all times by the Queen's guards. There are so many people walking around that it's hard to get a picture. You can see the balcony where Prince William and Princess Kate came out with the royal family to wave at the crowd after they were married.
This is the mall that leads from the Queen's house to a big arch. Can you see all of the British flags that line the street? The nick name for the British flag is "Union Jack."
This is the big arch called the Admiralty Arch. It is on the other end of the Mall from Buckingham Palace. When there is an important ceremony, the queen will ride in her golden carriage from her home at Buckingham Palace to the arch. She will wave to the crowds along the way.
This is Parliament, where the laws for England are made. You can see the huge clock called "Big Ben." It has been there for many years.
This is a statue of Oliver Cromwell. He was a famous leader who was liked by some and hated by others. He did some good things for his country but was also very cruel.
In this picture, we are on the train to Edinburgh.
I'm at the top of Edinburgh Castle, looking out over the country below.
A close up of me at Edinburgh Castle. The roads here are made of cobblestone. They are very bumpy. With my new tires, I'd like to get out and take a spin.
This picture was taken in a beautiful park at the bottom of the Royal Mile. I'm parked on the ledge of a fountain, where lots of kids are wading. I wish Henry were here. He would love this place.
Here I am up in the Highlands of Scotland, at a giant lake called Loch Ness. It is cold and rainy, and they say there is a monster in the lake called "Nessie." The water is so dark, I can't see a thing. I'm kinda glad. I'm not sure I want to see a monster in this place, so far away from home.
I saved my favorite pictures until the end. The grown ups went crazy over the buildings and statues, but I like things that can go, go, go.
A red double decker bus
A street sweeper, keeping the streets clean
On the last day, Henry's daddy packed the bags and put me back in his pocket for the long ride home. I was so glad when we finally got back to Henry's house. I was happy to see Henry and to get back to my home in the car case in Henry's room. I was glad to see all of the other cars, and the trains and the trucks and all of Henry's other toys.
Henry's daddy was glad to be home too. He was happy to see Henry's mother and Henry and little Charlotte. He hugged and kissed them all and gave them presents he brought back from the trip.
Henry's daddy showed Henry the pictures of my big adventure. Henry said, "Daddy, why did you take my cars away? I missed them."
And Henry's daddy hugged him and answered, "I know, Henry. Just like I missed Mama and Charlotte and YOU! It's always fun to go on a big adventure, but it's even better to get back home."
And that is the story of my big adventure and of how it came to be.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Coming Full Circle
Our last stop before leaving London for the hotel near Gatwick Airport, where we would spend the night, in order to make an early flight home on Tuesday, August 16, was back at the British Museum where we started our sight seeing tour on the first day.
Robert had visited the museum several times and recorded much of what he saw in his blog. I, on the other hand, was jet lagged and tired from the flight over, and had difficulty taking in very much of the vast treasures that are stored there. In the short time we were there, I did see the Rosetta Stone, but most of our time was spent walking around in the Great Court under its spectacular glass and steel dome. The dome is an architectural work of art in itself. Designed to cover Europe's largest public square (2 acres), it allows the sun to stream through its latticed surfaces, casting interesting geometric shadows on the white limestone walls and stairs of the Reading Room( where Karl Marx wrote Das Kapital) and creating an atmosphere of warmth and light throughout court.
Robert and I were drawn to this hands-on, history project created by families visiting the museum and participating in one of its many educational opportunities. It was displayed in the Great Court.
The artifacts from the ancient world in this museum are overwhelming. Many were brought back during the height of British domination, when it is said that the sun never set on the British Empire. There is so much of the ancient world collected and housed here that one has to wonder if there is anything of antiquity left to see in Greece or Egypt. It was like the World Showcase at Epcot for the ancient world.
These pictures from the Egyptian collection are dedicated to Mattie. We have a date to visit Egypt when she gets a little older. Until then, the pictures will have to do.
Before we left the museum, we met Katarina and Willim for tea and a chance to say our final goodbyes. The picture below is of Robert and Willim. Bloomsbury Church is in the far background.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Finding John Bunyan
Throughout our trip, we had been on the lookout for a statue of John Bunyan but had been unable to locate one. Bunyan (1628-1688), a Baptist forefather, is one of Bill's heroes for his stand on individual freedom as well as for the impact of Pilgrim's Progress on his (Bill's) thinking as a young seminarian introduced to the work for the first time, and the influence the book continued to have throughout his years as a pastor in the local church.
Robert did a Google search and found that the major statue of Bunyan is in Bedford, near his birth place at Elstow and the crossroads where he first began to preach. He is buried in London, in the cemetery of Bunhill Fields, in the Burrough of Islington, north of the City of London, next to 3 other historically famous nonconformists: George Fox (1624-1691), Daniel Defoe (1659-1731), and William Blake (1757-1827). Both locations were too far away to visit in the time allotted. However, we discovered that there was a rather impressive statue located back over near Bloomsbury Church in the Holborn area, where Bunyan actually died, and we set out to find it.
Bunyan became ill in 1628, after he had ridden out from Bedford to London to mediate a conflict between a father and son over an inheritance issue. He found himself too weak to return home, and took refuge with a friend named John Strudwick, who lived in Holborn. He died there at Strudwick's house, away from his wife and family.
The statue is in a niche on the front of the old headquarters of the Baptist Union, built in 1901. The headquarters has since relocated to Oxfordshire and the building is no longer in use.
Robert did a Google search and found that the major statue of Bunyan is in Bedford, near his birth place at Elstow and the crossroads where he first began to preach. He is buried in London, in the cemetery of Bunhill Fields, in the Burrough of Islington, north of the City of London, next to 3 other historically famous nonconformists: George Fox (1624-1691), Daniel Defoe (1659-1731), and William Blake (1757-1827). Both locations were too far away to visit in the time allotted. However, we discovered that there was a rather impressive statue located back over near Bloomsbury Church in the Holborn area, where Bunyan actually died, and we set out to find it.
Bunyan became ill in 1628, after he had ridden out from Bedford to London to mediate a conflict between a father and son over an inheritance issue. He found himself too weak to return home, and took refuge with a friend named John Strudwick, who lived in Holborn. He died there at Strudwick's house, away from his wife and family.
The statue is in a niche on the front of the old headquarters of the Baptist Union, built in 1901. The headquarters has since relocated to Oxfordshire and the building is no longer in use.
John Bunyan, holding a copy of Pilgrim's Progress. The sculptor is Richard Garbe, a late 20th century artist influenced by the Victorian and Edwardian eras. The work is dated 1953, but it is thought that this may be an error, and instead should be 1903, as the sculpture resembles the artist's earlier works that are more decidedly Victorian than his later work that were art deco. In addition, the sculpture is located near two others of Edward I and Edward VII, both done by Garbe in his early years and similar in style.
The opening lines of Pilgrim's Progress are printed below the statue
Friday, September 9, 2011
Tyng Up Loose Ends
In addition to our trip to Stratford-upon-Avon, Robert and I spent our last few days in London taking in the neighborhood around the Kensington Hotel where we were staying and revisiting a few sites of particular interest to us.
We enjoyed wandering around Hyde Park and then through Kensington Gardens, one of several enormous public parks in the area. It was fun to watch the families playing and relaxing together on the lawns--the adults sprawled out on blankets and the kids running around them with boundless energy, just like at home.
After completing the Enchanted Princess tour, visitors at the Arts Festival were invited to write their own secrets on paper and fold them inside the glass balls, to be hung throughout the sunken garden. They were left there for future visitors to enjoy and read. I thought how fragile the glass balls were, and was impressed that they had been entrusted to public hands. Just as I opened one and unfolded the paper revealing the secret, there came from behind me the sound of a bulb cracking like an egg on the gravel pathway. I turned just in time to see an embarrassed elderly gentleman drop a folded paper on top of the the shards of broken orange glass that were lying on the ground, and duck sheepishly out of the garden. Secretly, I was relieved that it was not my globe that had fallen, and I replaced it carefully, and did not open any more of them.
We enjoyed wandering around Hyde Park and then through Kensington Gardens, one of several enormous public parks in the area. It was fun to watch the families playing and relaxing together on the lawns--the adults sprawled out on blankets and the kids running around them with boundless energy, just like at home.
Gold plated statue of Prince Albert at Hyde Park
Robert, with Prince Albert in the background
View across the lake at Kensington Gardens
The swans are fatter and healthier here at Kensington Gardens than at Stratford-upon-Avon
Again, the swans, dedicated to Bill
Lake at Kensington Gardens
View across the lawn of Kensington Palace
Walkway through Kensington Gardens
We took a quick tour of the grounds around Kensington Palace and decided to go inside after discovering the sunken garden pictured below, decorated with hundreds of shiny orange orbs of varying sizes. This turned out to be a project left over from the IN TRANSIT Arts Festival that had been on the grounds in July. It was conceived as an interactive activity for the public, in coordination with the Enchanted Palace exhibit, which is also an interactive, tactile experience for the public, who, as they tour the palace, must find a set of clues in each of the rooms, that will reveal the secrets of the 7 princesses who lived at Kensington throughout its history.
After completing the Enchanted Princess tour, visitors at the Arts Festival were invited to write their own secrets on paper and fold them inside the glass balls, to be hung throughout the sunken garden. They were left there for future visitors to enjoy and read. I thought how fragile the glass balls were, and was impressed that they had been entrusted to public hands. Just as I opened one and unfolded the paper revealing the secret, there came from behind me the sound of a bulb cracking like an egg on the gravel pathway. I turned just in time to see an embarrassed elderly gentleman drop a folded paper on top of the the shards of broken orange glass that were lying on the ground, and duck sheepishly out of the garden. Secretly, I was relieved that it was not my globe that had fallen, and I replaced it carefully, and did not open any more of them.
Wouldn't this make a wonderful fund raiser?
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