Ironically, Bill and I were on our way down to Atlanta for an early Christmas celebration with Mom when we got the news. We were set to have dinner in Fayetteville with the brothers and sisters, and some of our favorite cousins, Roy and Fern, who are Uncle Harry's children, and Roy's wife Candee. The three of them had flown in from Plymouth, Mass and Richmond, Va. and were staying in Jane and Jim Stoakes' home.
Jim Stillerman called just as we were leaving the house to inform us of David's diagnosis and to suggest that we go directly to the hospital instead of his and Pam's house in Social Circle, where we had planned to spend the night as well as ride together to Fayetteville.
Jim told Bill that they would schedule surgery for David as soon as possible at Decalb Medical Center in Atlanta. He was certain that the kidney would need to be removed and was extremely concerned about the tumor in the vein and the delicate nature of dealing with that without throwing a clot. At that time, he felt relatively confident that the cancer had not spread and was hoping that a few suspicious spots on the liver could be dealt with during surgery. Jim would fill us in on the details once David and Carol met with the specialists later on in the morning.
Bill got off the phone and we hurried to get on our way. We rode in shocked silence almost to Charlotte, wanting to get there but dreading what in the world we would say to David and Carol. We were completely rocked by the news and could not imagine how much more devastated they must be. My cell phone rang and it was David himself, calling to let us know he was being released from the hospital, and directing us to go to Jim and Pam's house as planned. He sounded strong and upbeat and, in that vintage take-charge David style, said that he had been cleared to go home and was planning on attending the dinner in Fayetteville that night.
We arrived in Social Circle in mid afternoon at Jim and Pam's lovely home, all decorated out for the season and smelling of spices and Christmas goodies. Over cups of coffee brewed from their new Keurig, we visited and barraged Jim with questions about next steps for David's treatment as well as his mental outlook. Jim said that David had reacted practically and pragmatically. He simply wanted to know if the specialists could remove the kidney and get the tumor in the vein. When they answered affirmatively, he was ready to get on with it and get the job done.
David did not want to know a lot a details and procedures. Meg, on the other hand, asked numerous questions and inquired about every detail of what the medical team would be doing for her dad. In the days to come, she created a Caring Bridge web site and has faithfully posted updates about David's progress in clear, layman's terms. The postings have been a real godsend to the family and the many friends who are so eager for current news.
We were anxious about David trying to do too much on his release from the hospital, but Jim assured us that his going to the dinner posed little risk and would probably be good for him. As it turned out, it was a wonderfully therapeutic evening for all of us and just the kind of Christmas gift we all needed.
David and Carol joined us at Jim and Pam's around 5:00 pm so that we could all go together down to Fayetteville. Despite all the chaos that she had been thrown into hours earlier, Carol had baked an apple pie to take to the dinner. She was, as always, her sweet calm self, and instantly put us all at ease with her gracious, loving manner.
Bill and I offered to drive our car to keep from having to be too crowded, but Jim insisted on our all going together. We were able to get all the presents, Carol's pie and Pam's appetizer and vegetable dish, plus the 7 of us into their spacious Cadillac SUV. Pam and Tom volunteered to sit in the third seat, with Bill, Carol, and I in the middle, and David in front with Jim driving. It was the first time in years we had all been together without all of the kids and grand kids. We had such a good time all cuddled up together, cocooned in Jim and Pam's luxury car. We talked and laughed all the way from Covington to Fayetteville and it seemed like no time at all before the hour long trip was over.
Jane and Jim and Mom had prepared a delicious dinner of flank steak and twice baked potatoes, rolls, and salad with greens from their garden. Paired with Pam's fresh green beans and Carol's apple pie topped with ice cream, we enjoyed a perfect pre-Christmas meal. We all sat around the dining room table and reminisced about Christmases past and the good times our families had together when we would gather at Mom and Dad's home for the holiday season.
As always, Mom looked pretty and festive in her Christmas sweater, and was equal to the task of leading us in the traditional "Mushy Moments with Margie" where we all shared our special Christmas memories. It was a serendipity to have Roy and Candee and Fern among us. For a few hours, time was suspended, and we all soaked up the love and fellowship that is always present when families take time to be together. Too soon we would all have to get back to reality and the difficult challenge ahead for David. But for a little while, we took respite in one another and drew strength from our joy in being together.
I will always appreciate that evening as a precious Christmas gift come early from David and Carol. The two of them had just been given crushing news earlier in the day. David was facing serious surgery and the fight of his life. Both of them had every reason to withdraw, shut the world out, and take time to deal with the news in private. Instead, they reacted with their typical faith and courage, gracing us all with their presence for dinner, and giving us all the opportunity to be with them and draw strength from them and from one another.
David's surgery took place on December 21. The surgeons were able to remove the kidney and spleen, but not the tumor from the vena cava, which had grown too far into the vein to take out without being life threatening. The biopsy on the spots from the liver indicated that the cancer had not spread. Although the news was not positive in terms of curing the cancer, the family was encouraged when they met with the oncologist, who outlined further treatment to contain the spreading of the tumor on the vena cava.
David improved rapidly from the surgery and was making excellent progress until December 24, when he threw a blood clot, causing him to aspirate into his lungs. Since that time he has been in critical condition in ICU.
David has such a zest for life that he will fight to rebound from this recent setback. He and Carol have the love and support of their children, their family, and a multitude of friends who are in constant prayer for his recovery.
Christmas has been a bitter-sweet season for the Stillerman family this year. Even so, we have all experienced once again deeply and poignantly the love and joy and peace of God come down to earth to be with us and to sustain us.
